So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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