her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
