new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
