I just pynch a tree in the face
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
