At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
