She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
