I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
