Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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