even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
cat food counts as protein by the way
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
