so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So squirting runs in the family.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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