areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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