Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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