Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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