we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
