So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
