i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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