I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
