My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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