i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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