I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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