i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
