Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
