Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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