I want to stick my p in your. b.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
