She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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