Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
should my penis look like a turkey
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
