Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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