It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
