Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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