I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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