How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
