Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Boobs speak an international language.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
