I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
