How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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