How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
