Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
