I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
