So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
