i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
