i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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