I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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