So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
