So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
