yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
