honey bunches of taint.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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