All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
