I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
