I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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