She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize