my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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