It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
