Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
