girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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