It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
