You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
