can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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