just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
