Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
