Small penises have feelings too.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
