I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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