Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
