I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
