party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
