did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
