I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
