Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was confusing and full of hummus
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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