i don't like sucking hair
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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